The Worst Is Yet To Come (15 track playlist)

by Nigel Burch and the Flea-Pit Orchestra

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      £7 GBP  or more

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
02:57
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

about

The band is Nigel Burch (banjolele and vocals), Dylan Bates (violin) and Richard Lee (double bass).

credits

released April 15, 2014

All lyrics and music by Nigel Burch.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Nigel Burch and the Flea-Pit Orchestra London, UK

'Flea-Pit Music' has been (intoxicating and) invigorating music fans for over a decade. Best described by The Guardian as “a cross between the music of Ian Dury, Brecht and Weil, an Irish pub band and a 1950s skiffle group. Songs of urban alienation with plenty of fierce, spontaneous playing", their original sound is personified by the dark social commentary of Burch's lyrics and vocals. ... more

contact / help

Contact Nigel Burch and the Flea-Pit Orchestra

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Pouring In The Poison
You don't look like the back of a bus
But you're no beauty queen
I'm not as idiot or an Einstein
I'm just somewhere in between
Let's drink and think of all the things that might have been
Keep pouring in the poison

You wear your boozing wounds like badges
Every cut and bruise and scratch
They all say I can put it away
But in you I've met my match
Get you laughing gear round this my dear
Cheers - down the hatch
Keep pouring in the poison.

Pouring in the poison
You're on wine and I'm on porter
We're two good-for-nothings
Doing what we didn't ought to
I'm old enough to be your Dad
But I wouldn't want you for a daughter
We're two dirty stop-outs
Allergic to work and water

We've been on the sauce since early doors
We should be homeward bound
Our ill-gotten gains gone down the drain
We're down to our last few pounds
This stuff will be the death of us
Let's have another round
Keep pouring in the poison

Pouring in the poison
You're on wine and I'm on porter
We're two good-for-nothings
Doing what we didn't ought to
I'm old enough to be your Dad
But I wouldn't want you for a daughter
We're two dirty stop-outs
Allergic to work and water.
Track Name: The Worst Is Yet To Come
Your dreams will all go down the drain
Your nightmares will come true
At the end of the rainbow
You will find a pot of poo
You think you know what it is like to suffer
Your tribulations they have only just begun
The worst - the worst - the worst is yet
The worst is yet to come.

Crawl along the crazy paving
Your brain's been fried - you've got no friends
The bad bits life's been saving
For an undignified end
That will you in some home for poor old duffers
A colostomy bag and bed-sores on your bum
The worst - the worst - the worst is yet
The worst is yet to come.

People will start poking you
Your sad rags will be soaken through
Your poor heart will be broke in two
And it will never mend
Loved ones will start hating you
Old flames all for castrating you
There's a cruel fate awaiting you
It's just around the bend
You can call me Killjoy
Address: No Fixed Abode
But from on it's all downhill boy
A treacherous and rocky road
The ride for you it can only get rougher
As the wheels fall off your wagon one by one
The worst - the worst - the worst - the worst is yet
The worst is yet to come.
Track Name: Blue Bloody Moon
You were a curious child in your Mummy's high heels
Couldn't wait to fill our her shoes and underwear
You'd be a big girl - a grown-up
The future all sewn up
But hearts and bones get broken
It's a battlefield out there.

How many times does a man come along
Who's not a complete tosser or buffoon
Once in a blue bloody
Once in a blue bloody
Once in as blue bloody moon.

The diamond ring that he bought you
At the bottom of the Thames
He soon turned out to be just like all the rest
They're bastards one and all
With their brains in their balls
It seems with every penis
Comes a pervert and a pest.

How many times does a boy bang your gong
Make you shiver and shudder and swoon
Once in a blue bloody
Once in a blue bloody
Once in a blue bloody moon.

You can put on your war-paint
It's Saturday night
You sit in the kitchen licking out the bowl
Prince Charming's not knocking
You've laddered your stocking
You stick your little finger through the holes.

Let them scatter your ashes during Happy Hour
Let all of your boyfriends have as cheap laugh
They were all losers - they were users and abusers
One by one they led you up the garden path
How often does some bloke approach you
Who doesn't look like King Kong
Who doesn't make your heart sink like as lead balloon
Once in blue bloody
Once in a blue bloody
Once in a blue bloody moon.
Track Name: Bottom Of The Pile
We are at the bottom of the pile
The scum of the earth - we're not worthwhile
We are the unwanted and reviled
We are at the bottom of the pile.

We are the lowest of the low
For the likes of us there's nowhere else to go
The School Of Hard Knocks educated blow by blow
We are the lowest of the low.

We are the underdogs who never have their day
The Great Unwashed we come in shades
Of black white yellow brown and grey
We are at the bottom of the heap
The hole they dug for us was dark and deep
Life is hardly cheerful - life is cheap
We are at the bottom of the heap.

We are the underclass - we'll never be on top
Disinherited and dispossessed
We've been left here to rot
We are at the bottom of the pack
That's the way the cards fell - how they're stacked
We disappeared down in between the cracks
We are at the bottom of the pack
We are at the bottom of the pile
The scum of the earth - we're not worthwhile
We are the unwanted and reviled
We are at the bottom of the pile
We are at the bottom of the pile
We are at the bottom of the pile
We are at the bottom of the pile
Track Name: Local Living Corpse
No woman in her right mind wants my cold fingers upon her
The other day I passed away,I snuffed it - I'm a goner
Dead or alive it's the just the same It's still no bowl of cherries
Most blokes in my condition
Have been burnt or been buried.

I'm dead upon my feet
My empty eyes are like two noughts
I'm the zombie walking down the street
The local living corpse.

I should be in a mortuary
Wrapped up in rubber sheeting
I'm not even horizontal
Though my heart it has stopped beating
Though I'm deceased there's still no peace It's still one big palaver
There's no rest for the wicked
Even when you're a cadaver.

I'm dead upon my feet
My empty eyes are like two noughts
I'm the zombie walking down the street
The local living corpse.

I feel no pleasure - I feel no pain
Piss and vinegar run through these veins
Could have been cancer cirrhosis
Or a dose of the flu
But I'm dead from the neck up
From the neck down too.

I suppose I look quite scary
With my Dracula hairdo
I do things that normal mortals
Never ever dare do
I'm not frightened to frequent
All those areas known as No Go
I'm Frankenstein's monster
When I staggering round Soho.

I'm dead upon my feet
My empty eyes are like two noughts
I'm the zombie walking down the street
The local living...
Dead upon my feet
My empty eyes are like two noughts
I'm the zombie walking down the street
The local living corpse.
Track Name: Since I Stopped Taking My Medication
Since I've stopped taking my medication
The world is such a scary place to be
But it's proved to be a cure for constipation
The things I notice now scare the shit out of me
I didn't know my elbow from arse
Always the bottom of the class
So this has all been quite an education
Since I've stopped taking my medication--

I can hear the birds all singing in the trees
Not all I perceive is a cause for celebration
In a world dogged by disaster and disease
Stained with the blood of butchered armies
Torn with earthquakes and tsunamis
One wonders what's the point of procreation
Since I've stopped taking my medication--

I've experienced life's natural lows and highs
It's all come as quite a revelation
Since the scales have fallen from my eyes
I see things now the right way round
I know what goes up must come down
I see the gravity of the situation
Since I've stopped taking my medication--

I see things now as they truly are
I need a pick-me-up - a quick libation
So I stop off at some dark dank basement bar
The chairs and tables rickety
In this den on iniquity
That I vacate in a state of intoxication
Since I've stopped taking my medication--

I noticed the people here all seem to smell of piss
I wish I was back under sedation
I see now that my ignorance was bliss
So doctor take me by the hand
And lead me back to La-La Land
Here it's all despair doom and damnation
Since I've stopped.
Track Name: Big Baby Wants His Bottle
I'm like a child in the sweet shop
When I'm propping up the bar
You call me a baby- a big big baby
How right you are.
They slapped my bare little buttocks
That was my first introduction to pain
They threw me out with the bath-water
I started life down the drain
Now the big baby wants his bottle
He's throwing his food through the air
Give the big baby his bottle
And you can stuff that teddy bear.

I'm short of life's little comforts
I get so short of breath
No one to mollycoddle me
So I spoil myself to death
No new life for this old bastard
Few birthdays to come
I wake in as foetal position
Sucking my dirty thumb.

Now the big baby wants his bottle
The way he used to want his Mam
Give the big baby his bottle
Before he gets out his pram.

I'm sick and tired of all these toys
I'm sick and tired of you
Don't you dare call me Diddums
Don't go coochy coochy coo
I'll start having one of my tantrums
I'll start screaming out for Mummy
All those years of tears between the womb and the tomb
With the bottle replacing the dummy
The big baby wants his bottle
He's no longer a tiny tot
Give the big baby his bottle
So he can sleep tight in his cot
So he can sleep tight in his cot.
Track Name: Horrible But True
Pubs are named kings and queens
And sometimes after flowers
It's daybreak we know what that means
Another twenty-four horrible hours
And the people in the bus-stop queue
Their eyes full of despair
We can't have our cake and eat it all
It isn't bloody fair
It's horrible - it's horrible
But oh what can we do?
It's horrible - it's horrible
It's horrible but true.

The self harmer she licks the blade
Her wounds like shining rubies
The dribbling drunk in the shopping arcade
Shouts "Oi! Darling show us your boobies!"
We're soft as shit - not hard as nails
We're frightened freaks and failures
We're entertained by fairytales
And exposed genitalia
It's horrible - it's horrible But oh what can we do?
It's horrible - it's horrible It's horrible but true.

I bought a bottle and I went home I went to bed and drank it
And I woke up dry as bone Shaking underneath the blanket
A bottle full of rotgut
And I get a little mad
Because the Have-Nots still have not got
What The Haves have always had
It's horrible - it's horrible but oh what can we do?
It's horrible - it's horrible It's horrible but true
I'm horrible - I'm horrible but oh what can I do?
I am horrible - I am horrible
But I'll be true to you.
Track Name: Ugly Scenes
It all kicks off in Clubland
Psycho bouncers on the door
They look so mean as they vent their spleen
On a cripple crawling on the floor
In some run-down amusement arcade
I saw this poor old bloke
Lean against the fruit machine
Sink to his knees and croak
Ugly Scenes seen everywhere
Seen every day and night
I have seen those ugly scenes
They're not a pretty sight.

She came unstuck out in the sticks
Her name was Mary Jane
Barely in her teens in blood-stained jeans
Done-in down Lovers' Lane
And in some seedy back street bar
Wrong time mate and wrong place
You're not so keen - so full of beans
With a beer mug in your place
Ugly Scenes seen everywhere
Seen every day and night
I have seen those ugly scenes
They're not a pretty sight.

Oh darling please don't throw that tantrum
That hysterical hormonal stuff
You look so ugly sweetheart
Don't you think that things are already ugly
Don't you think that things are already ugly
Don't you think that things are already ugly enough.

I crawl home from the local
Just a lardy lager lout
I hear a scream from flat fifteen
He's knocking her about
I have been out boozing with a few decrepit friends
All our sweet dreams and beauty queens
Turn sour and ugly in the end
Ugly Scenes seen everywhere
Seen every day and night
I have seen those ugly scenes
They're not a pretty sight.

Oh darling please don't throw that tantrum
That hysterical hormonal stuff
You look so ugly sweetheart
Don't you think that things are already ugly
Don't you think that things are already ugly
Don't you think that things are already ugly enough.
Track Name: Save My Sorry Arse
Save me from celebrities
Famous for doing nowt
Save me from the party girls
With their painted pouts
Save me from this pigsty
Where I sit and pick my snout
Save my sorry arse.

Save me from the simpletons
Whose knuckles brush the floor
From the sermon from the pulpit
Because I've heard it all before
From that fat politician's platitudes
That get stuck in my craw
Save my sorry arse.

Save me - save me
From this unfunny farce
Save me - save me
Save my sorry...

Save me from the charlatans
Their seedy little scams
Save me from the man-eaters
All mutton dressed as lamb
I'm in a proper pickle pal
I've got stuck in this jam
Save my sorry arse
Save me - save me
I've reached the bottom of my glass
Save me - save me
Save my sorry...

Save me from this solitude
I feel I've been forsaken
From these bad dreams from which it seems I just can't awaken
You could save me from myself
You could save my bacon
Save me - save me
From this unfunny farce
Save me - save me
Save my sorry
Save my sorry
Save my sorry...

Arse.
Track Name: If I'm Dead Nobody Told Me
If I'm dead nobody told me
Thought I'd be the first to know
Is that why I'm so lifeless
With no get up and go
This is all so typical
What I've come to expect
Had a big win on the gee-gees
Now I can't go and collect.

If I'm dead nobody told me
Think there's been some mistake
I don't recall my funeral
My burial or wake
Am I just ashes in an urn
Is that what I've become
Just smoke up the chimney
Of some crematorium.

The butcher the baker
The candlestick maker
All end up in the hand of the undertaker
We're all equal in the good lord's eyes
I was happy and care free
I thought that's he'd spare me
Now some hack's writing my obituary
Following my sad sudden demise.

One sodding thing after another
Now I've gone and bloody died
Won't be easy to contact me
Here on the other side
But here's an end to woe and worry
No more will I fret and frown
They say that Death is Nature's way
Of telling you you should slow down.

My hair was thick and curly
I was taken too early
Am I going where the gates are pearly
Does a fate worse than death wait there for me
Lord my Saviour do us a favour
Forgive me for all my bad behaviour
Don't make me burn for all Eternity.

Will I be blessed in the next life
With good fortune and wealth
With my luck I'll probably be
Reincarnated as myself
But I'm pushing up the daisies
And I'm sleeping The Big Sleep
Shutting up and signing off now
You won't hear another peep.
Track Name: We Kissed Goodbye At The Bottle Bank
We kissed goodbye at the bottle bank
She said "I can see that you're lonely"
She stuck her hands down the front of my pants
By the sign that said GREEN GLASS ONLY
She said let me hold it for just one last time
I noticed the stains on her coat
When we kissed goodbye at the bottle bank
She stuck her tongue right down my throat.

We kissed goodbye at the bottle bank
Our farewells had already been said
The sun came up over the tower block
Our party hats still on our heads
She was old enough to be my Mum
She had whiskers on her chin
When we kissed goodbye at the bottle bank
Her breath stank of ciggies and gin.

We kissed goodbye at the bottle bank
I promised I'd give her a call
She went for her train as it started to rain
Me I just sat on the wall
My hangover one of the worst that I've had
I was trembling like a leaf
We kissed goodbye at the bottle bank
Our encounter thank Christ had been brief.
Track Name: Ugly Valentine
The men have all got TB
And the girls have all got VD
Some joker here is taking the urine
I was talking to a midget
And he had a missing digit
On his hands could only count from one to nine
Everything here's bent and broken
I've spent all of beer tokens
I'll go back soon to my home-brewed rotgut wine
I peel off this bottle's label
I'll drink till I'm disabled
Underneath this table you will find...
Your Ugly Valentine - your Ugly Valentine
I know I'm no oil painting and I drank the turpentine
Your Ugly Valentine - your Ugly Valentine
I'll never win a beauty contest with a mug like mine.

Lost my money on the gee-gees
I feel like some manky squeegee
Put out to dry upon your washing line
This charming chap that you once courted
You'd like to see hung drawn and quartered
They should at least deport this useless swine
My breath smells like a dog's bowl
I feel rough as budget bog-roll
Life has lost it's sparkle - lost it's shine
The pain it gets no better and the rain seems to get wetter
Underneath this table you will find...
Your Ugly Valentine - your Ugly Valentine
I'm not a pretty picture sitting here and slurping wine
Your Ugly Valentine - your Ugly Valentine
I look like something that's just been fished out of The Serpentine
Your Ugly Valentine - your Ugly Valentine
I know I'm no oil painting and I drank the turpentine
Your Ugly Valentine - your Ugly Valentine
I'll never win no beauty contest with a mug like mine.
Track Name: The Bastard Who's Doing You Now
Does he make you go gooey
Does he make you feel good
Does he do the business like I never could
Are his bags always full
Does he always have wood
The bastard who's doing you now.

Does he take you out dancing
Are you wined and dined
Undressed and caressed
And told it's for all time
Does his meat really taste so much sweeter than mine
The bastard who's doing you now.

The bastard who's doing you
The one who is screwing you
Is he so fantastic in the sack
Each night and day with you
Having his way with you
No wonder you're not coming back.

You grew tired of my ravings
Grew tired of my rants
I bought you no flowers
No sense of romance
Tell me is that how he got inside your pants
The bastard who's doing you now.

They say that your life's now
All peaches and cream
You've been seen out walking
Like Young Love's Sweet Dream
Meanwhile I'm falling apart at the seams
The bastard who's doing you now.

The bastard who's doing you
The one who is screwing you
As in my own juices I stew
Each night and day with you
Having his way with you
And I bet you're liking it too.

They say that he's handsome
Compared to me young
Treats you like a princess
And nice to your Mum
Is he hung like a donkey and good with his tongue?
The bastard who's doing you now.

I feel I've been cheated
I feel I've been crossed
I've been defeated
But the better man lost
But I'm sure you and Lover Boy
Don't give a toss
The bastard who's doing you now
The bastard who's doing you now
The bastard who's doing you now.